i really really need for things to stop going wrong
i am sick from stress
i desperately need money i need to get the cv axle in my car replaced or i will have no way to get to school or work and i need $200 to get audrey enrolled in school and i don't even have the fucking money for food
this stupidass job isn't cutting it and i don't know what to do
school isn't even worth the trouble at this point i don't have the time or energy or money for school any longer and i don't want to drop out but son of a bitch i can't keep going at this rate i need another job and i don't have time for it right now
all the while my asshole of a father is selling his guitars and amps to buy more cds for himself (he has managed to spend over $2000 on cds in the past two months how is that even possible??) instead of helping me get the motherfucking car fixed. it isn't even MY car it's HIS car and I'M the one expected to pay for it. this is bullshit and i want to move out but i can't fucking afford it i can't afford anything i feel really trapped and i honestly just don't even want to live anymore i'm so tired i'm tired of enduring verbal abuse from my father and i'm tired of being too poor to afford basic needs and i'm tired of dealing with my bitchy coworkers when my job doesn't even pay me enough to get by and i'm tired of school i'm tired of everything it doesn't matter if i'm at school or work or home no matter where i go i'm completely miserable i'm so fucking sad i feel like nothing ever goes right for me like things are never ever going to look up and nobody is willing to help me but somehow suicide is selfish?? i'm selfish for wanting to die but it's the selfishness of others that has put me in this position i'm in and my escape makes me a bad person somehow?
this isn't fair at all it isn't fair for me to never have a chance to be happy due to the mistakes of my parents i'm sick and tired of suffering on behalf of the mistakes of others